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Bayou Billionaires puts Albert in front of local TV green screen

Mechele R. Dillard's picture

Rock-n-roll weatherman Albert? Could only happen on CMTs Bayou Billionaires.

The Bayou Billionaires were back on CMT last night on back-to-back new episodes, and there was more than enough foolishness to keep viewers entertained—including Albert living his dream of becoming a “rock-n-roll weatherman.”

Sometimes you just have to wonder how Albert’s brain works. He doesn’t exist on the same plane as the rest of us. Is that a bad thing? Nah, not necessarily. Maybe he’s just an outside-the-box thinker—WAY outside-the-box, but, hey, he’s entertaining.

Albert’s 50th birthday was on its way, and, as Gerald seems to be more concerned with Albert sometimes than with his own kids (not that he neglects his own kids in any way, of course; he just seems as fascinated with Albert and his antics as the rest of us), it wasn’t shocking that he would try to help Albert live out his dream for a day.

“Chantel told me that you’ve always wanted to be a weatherman,” Gerald said as Albert bounced up and down like a toothless five-year-old. “We gonna try to get you a shot at being a weatherman.”

“Gosh, Gerald, you’re the best,” Albert told him.

In the meantime, Gerald and Kitten decided to create a prom for their grandson, Dalton, because he thought his own prom was going to be “lame” and refused to go.

“A buckin’ bull!” Gerald exclaimed excitedly. “Mud wrestlin’! Monster trucks! … Alligators! … This prom is gonna be groovy, man, it’s gonna be groovy!”

Alright, groovy.

Albert's On-Camera Whirlwind

Albert’s shot at weatherman stardom went as one might expect. It was hilarious and ridiculous, and only a LOT of cash could have bought a spot like that for someone. It’s a good thing he latched on to Chantel at some point, because one can only imagine what he would be up to if he had to work for himself (although, quite honestly, he and Chantel make a well-matched couple, regardless of the “mailbox money” angle). He wouldn’t be a rock-n-roll weatherman, that’s for sure, if for no other reason than it’s almost impossible to understand what he is saying without subtitles.

Senior Prom Goes Seriously Senior

Now, as far as the prom, was it lame? Well, Gerald’s description of “groovy” was probably appropriate. It wasn’t all that Gerald or Dalton dreamed it to be, as Kitten hijacked the planning and turned it into a prom for Grandpa at the senior center—not exactly the prom of Dalton’s fantasies. But, Kitten’s heart was in the right place.

“I’m gonna have the prom at the senior center, because I want to give my daddy the prom he never had, and I want my grandson to learn to share with the older people.”

That was a nice sentiment. Still, why couldn’t they have worked something out that made it more palatable for Dalton—some pre-prom monster trucks, some post-prom bucking bulls, something? But, it ended up being, well, yes, nice, but kinda lame and definitely about the adults and their memories, not really fulfilling the original intent: to give Dalton a prom he would enjoy. But, yes, it was nice to share it at the senior center, even if it had a disco ball.

Of course, Gerald did take the edge off the lameness—and Dalton’s disappointment—of having his prom at the senior center by providing Dalton and his date with a killer ride: A classic Mustang convertible in shiny red.

Groovy, Grandpa, groovy.

Building the Family Bunker

The second episode on the night was absolutely hilarious, with Gerald going to extremes, the family decided, with his emergency preparedness planning, fueled on by Albert.

“You’ve got the fever, you’ve gone crazy,” Kitten told him as they loaded up at the survival store.

Albert, not surprisingly, is a believer in the Mayan calendar and its predictions. When he started telling Gerald about his own “plans” for survival, next thing you know, they were meeting with a survival expert, who refused to be identified on camera, and who called himself, “Merlin 51.”


“I seriously think you need to consider a bunker site,” Merlin 51 told Gerald.

Of course he did.

Before you knew it, Gerald was falling right into it all, trying to protect his family. You know, you have to give him credit for that: The man loves his family (and Albert).

Who Would WEAR That Thing?

Of course, that may not have been as crazy as Kitten and Valerie’s “neck hat;” at least the bunker had the potential to protect the family in a natural disaster. The neck hat, well … Gerald had a point:

“She’s makin’ neck hats, and I’m crazy about building a bunker?”

Well, as it turned out, the family wasn’t crazy about either one, and the public did not care for Kitten and Valerie’s “Night Cap.” But, Albert did end up with a new man cave, and it was worth it, seeing him dressed up in a Sigmund-the-Sea-Monster-esque outfit, “because I’m head of security,” and being knocked over by the family dog while running across a field, as he worked to “secure the location.”

Okay, Sigmund.

Stay tuned.

Bayou Billionaires airs on CMT on Saturday night, with new episodes beginning at 9/8c.

Would you like to read more about Bayou Billionaires? Search “Bayou Billionaires” right here on Huliq!

Check out Albert's learning curve on his weatherman spot in the following video:

Want to read more about the Dowdens? Search "Bayou Billionaires" right here on Huliq!

UPDATED: Albert and Chantel tackle "extreme dog grooming."

Image: CMT

Video: CMT/Bayou Billionaires

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