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My Big Redneck Vacation launches Knights of the Round Belly

Mechele R. Dillard's picture

The Clampets want to be knights, and Heath makes it happen.

“What CAN’T he get done?” Tom Arnold, host of My Big Redneck Vacation on CMT, asks about Heath the butler, after he sets the Clampets up with “knight lessons.”

You know, Heath seems to like the Clampets, but there’s undoubtedly a good chance he could set them up with anything if it keeps them occupied and out of his hair.

So, this week, after “going medieval” at Camelot Theme Park (touristy and contemporary, it turned out, more than medieval, complete with roller coasters and a fake castle) and seeing a jousting show, the guys were intrigued and wanted to give it a try. Of course, it was a show, and they weren't exactly hitting each other, more just slapping lances at one another. But, nevertheless, the guys wanted to give it a try, and Heath obliged them by finding someone to give them “knight lessons,” after initially fearing that his redneck charges wanted to set up a roller coaster on the property.

That may have been something that Heath WOULDN’T have gotten done.

But, after clarifying that they wanted to joust, not set up a roller coaster, a relieved Heath set to work, and found an instructor. Not surprisingly, being the Clampets, they wanted to do their jousting Clampet-style—on ATVs. Of course, making their own “medieval” weapons was a must. And, leave it to the Clampets to bring the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles into their medieval weapons-making session. “Ooooooh," Jared said, excited, "we can make the Leonardo pole—or was that Donatello?”

Ah, the Clampets.

So, armed with homemade nunchucks, throwing stars and a Leonardo/Donatello pole, the Clampets began their medieval lessons. Their homemade weapons did not prove useful, and the ATVs were ruled out in favor of horses, but they actually did pretty well in their medieval training: “Sir Captain America” (Tommy); “Lord Spits-A-Lot” (Chris); “Sir Farts-A-Lot” (Jared); and “Sir Cheeto” (Doug). Sir Cheeto won the preliminary round, therefore having to face the dreaded “Black Knight,” who promptly kidnapped Sir Cheeto's wife, Wendy. Of course, as Tom Arnold pointed out, that wasn’t much of a motivation for Doug to give it his all, but, still, with redneck pride on the line, Sir Cheeto wasn’t about to just lay down and give up. With great skill, Sir Cheeto slayed the Black Knight—and promptly forgot to go free his wife in the celebration.

Oh, it's not hard to imagine the not-so-medieval tongue-lashing Sir Cheeto got that night. But, regardless, the Knights of the Round Belly triumphed over their latest English challenge. What’s up next?

Stay tuned.

My Big Redneck Vacation airs on CMT on Saturdays at 9 p.m. E/P.

Image: CMT

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